a hard day

Let me start by saying that Brent and the girls are simply fabulous and I realize how fortunate I am to have these amazing creatures in my life. However, today was an extremely hard day for me personally. To fill you in on what has been happening recently, we experienced our second miscarriage on July 22 of this year: 8 weeks and 4 days into the pregnancy. It is funny too - I think Brent and I were more excited about this pregnancy than any of the others. Probably because this time we had really prayed about whether it was in God's plan for us to have more children and had come to conclusion that yes it was the right thing to do. Needless to say, not only was the emotional toll of losing the baby difficult, but the physical aspect has been still working it self out. No D&C needed as I apparently passed everything on my own in the middle of Brent's family reunion before returning home. Now after coming home I have been poked and prodded for roughly 6 weeks to only hear today that I have some gene mutation that is causing me to lose the babies. Oh, silver lining you say - I could try for more children the doctor did not want to close that door completely but I would need to inject myself with a shot every 12 hours throughout the entire pregnancy. I did not think my heart could go any lower - truly I did not, yet here I sit, tears in my eyes just confused and hurt as to what has just happened. Brent has asked me to talk all day and I simply have nothing to say - my spirit is broken, my energy is gone, and my faith is struggling.